Cartoon Mix-Ups 6: Pasturama
by Boolia
Summary: The Futurama cast goes back to the start of 2012 in Langley Falls, VA instead of the start of 3013 in NNY. As Professor Farnsworth builds a machine to bring them back to their own time, Bender, Fry and Nibbler trek down a thief who stole every single beer at a liquor store. Will they succeed? Will Fry stay in Virginia to become a CIA agent or will he go back with his friends?
1. Part 1

Cartoon Mix-ups 6: Pasturuma

The Planet Express Crew, Scruffy, Nibbler, Zapp Brannigan, and Kiff are at Times Circle in New New York. They, along with a big gathering of New New Yorkers, are waiting for the giant ball to drop at the stroke at midnight, ringing in the new year. Some New New Yorkers wear 3013 glasses, hats and/or have nose makers. The PE gang was all shivering in the cold, all but Bender who was drinking a bottle of beer. Nibbler is on a leash, held by Leela. Amy: (Shivering) I-I h-hope the ball drops s-soon so that we can all go home. This weather is f-freezing my butt off!

Leela: (Looking at her watch) Don't worry Amy; two more minutes and then we can all go home and warm up.

Amy: Good!

Zoidberg: (Shivering, looking at Nibbler) What I wouldn't do to have fur!

Scruffy: I hope this is well worth getting out of janitor duties.

Kiff: Don't worry Amy. It may be cold, but you couldn't be any more beautiful.

Amy: _Awwwwww_! I love you, Kiff!

Kiff: And I love you, Amy.

Hermes: It was really generous of you to invite us out here.

Zapp: Yeah, well, anything for Leela.

Leela: (Rolls eye) Don't think you inviting us here will make me like you.

Zapp: You may say that now, but I know deep inside you like me.

Farnsworth: Did we all make our New Year's Resolutions?

Fry: (Panics) I didn't know we still do that! I still got to think of one!

Farnsworth: You have ninety seconds!

Fry: (Gasps) Ninety seconds! That's like less then two minutes!

Hermes: Now you only have a minute!

Fry: (Gasps and starts thinking)

Bender: My resolution is to drink more beer.

Leela: That was your last year's resolution!

Bender: _So_? Do you expect me to get off my shiny metal butt and do more and be nicer towards you humans and animals and make the world a better place? Ha! I don't think so! (Throws now empty beer bottle behind him, burps) Ahhh, my last beer, burp and beer burp of the year!

Farnsworth: Ten more seconds!

Fry: Oh no, 3013, please, don't come yet! I still don't have a resolution yet!

Farnsworth: Here we go!

Zoidberg: _Ooh_! This is _exciting!_ This is what we froze our butts for!

New New Yorkers: _5, 4, 3, 2.._. (Suddenly a portal opens up and sucks up PE crew and more).

Bender: My first beer of 3013, NOOOOOOO!

Fry is sleeping in bed with Leela. He then wakes up and leaps out of bed with nothing but his underwear

Fry: (Singing) _Good morning U.S.A_! _I have a feeling that it's going to be a wonderful day_ (Goes down stairs, sees pictures of Jesus and The Statue of Liberty. Spoken) _Cool_! The Statue of Liberty and Jesus Christ!

(Continues singing) _The sun has a smile on it's face,_

Bender: Sun that has a smile on it's face? (Gasps) _Oh no,_ we're on Telepallies!

Fry: (Continues singing) _And it's shining a salute on the American race!_

Amy slaps reverse peace sign on Fry's back, Farnsworth gives Fry suitcase and Leela gives Fry gun and removes sign.

Fry: Why did you give me a gun, Leela?

Leela: I don't know.

Zoidberg throws keys at Fry. It hits him in the eye.

Fry: (Rubbing now black eye) _Ow, Zoidberg_!

Zoidberg: Sorry, you were suppose to _catch _it! How was I suppose to know that it was going to hit your eye?

Fry: (Goes to car, sings again.) _Oh boy, it's swell to say..._

Bender: (As Roger Smith, sings) _Good morning U.S.A!_

Fry: (Gasps) Bender, what are you doing here? (Gets angry) Are you stalking me? And where did you get that costume?

Bender: (Scoffs) No! (Laughs) Yes, and it was in the attic.

Fry leaps out, stands in front of CIA sign.

Chorus: _Good morning CIA!_

Fry: This guy works for the CIA? Awesome!

The PE crew, Nibbler, Zapp and Kiff drops out from portal in the Smiths' living room. The TV is on and it just stroke midnight. Fry still has black eye.

Fry: (Groggily) _Oh_, my head. (Stands up) Where are we?

Linda: _Happy 2012_! (Grabs paper, confused) _2012?_ I must have that wrong, it's the year 3013. (Reads paper) No, it's says 2012, but how is that _possible?_

Morbo: I blame the humans! They must've made it 2012 from that portal, _darn humans!_

Linda: (Laughs nervously) Morbo, you are such a riot!

Morbo: _Am_ I?

Linda: Well, happy New Year everyone! (Fansworth turns off TV)

Hermes: _2012_? But that can't be! Professor, what's going on? Did the portal take us back in time?

Fansworth: It's possible.

Leela: Can you invent a machine that can take us back to the right time?

Fansworth: I can, but it'll take time.

Leela: Well hurry and build it Professor! We can't be stuck here forever!

Fry: Or we can wait until it's 3013 again. (Gets looks) What? Sure, we may have to wait a few hundred years, but 3013 will come around again eventually. (Still gets awkward looks) Yeah Professor, you better make that machine.

Fansworth: While I make the machine that'll get us back to the correct year, why don't you all go out and do some exploring? It's been years since we been in 2012. But let's do that in the morning since it's late and all of the stores will be closed now.

Fry: Fine by me Professor! And I just realize, the events from Back to the Future never happened yet!

The next morning and after breakfast, they are in main room, except Bender.

Bender: (Comes up from basement in a panic) It's a tragedy! I can't find any beer anywhere in this house! How did this family even live without beer?

Zapp: Kiff and I are going to see if we can find out anything. (Goes to door, opens it and looks at Kiff) Come on, Kiff!

Kiff: Coming! (To Amy) I'll be back and find out what happened!

Amy: I'll be waiting! (Kiff and Zapp leave)

Leela: Well, let's go and do what the Professor says and remind ourselves what life was back in 2012.

Fry: Again, I never been in the year 2012, so this'll be good for me.

Amy: I want to see what fashion was like again way back in 2012 again. (To Leela) You in, Leela?

Leela: Sure! (To Fry, hands him Nibbler's leach) While I'm gone Fry, I want you to walk Nibbler.

Fry_: Aw_! Why do I have to?

Leela: Because I'll have my hands full with shopping bags.

Fry: Because you're a girl and girls go shopping!

Leela (Gives Fry look) Just don't mess up Fry.

Fry: _Will do_!

Amy: (Squeals) I can't wait! (The girls rush off)

Zoidberg: Girls, I bet as the years go by, they'll still be a mystery to us.

Hermes: You got that right! I'm going to look at the museums they got here.

Fry: (To Bender) Want to go with me, Bender?

Bender: I want to go to a liquor store. I want to buy all the beer they have.

Fry: Let's do it, but first, let's explore the house. I got to find an icepack since _somebody_ gave me a black eye!

Zoidberg: I said I was sorry! Anyways, I'm going to hospitals and see what kind of medicines they have...and maybe brag how we found the cure for cancer and stuff.

Fry: (Rolls eye) Sure, whatever you say, Zoidberg.

Zoidberg: But I _am_ sorry! (They go separate ways)

Scuffy: I'll stay here as I always do. (Sighs) Scuffy, you need a life.

Fry and Bender are in Stan's office. Fry now has an icepack over black eye. Bender is holding Nibbler's leash. Fry sees Stan's CIA badge.

Fry: _Cool,_ a CIA badge! I'll just put it in my pocket. (Puts down ice pack and put badge in pocket, Nibbler growls) _Jeez,_ Nibbler, relax. I'm just taking this guy's CIA badge is all. (Sees grappling hook) I'll just take this too. (Nibbler growls again. To Bender) Okay Bender, I've seen enough. Nibbler getting antsy (Grabs ice pack again, puts it over black eye.

Bender:(Cheers) Whoo-hoo! Let's blow this pop stand! (They go down. While they're putting their winter gear on, Nibbler growls at Fry)

Fry: Bender, Nibbler is growling at me.

Bender: (Pulls Nibbler's leash) Bad Nibb-whatever you species name is! You, shut your trap! (Nibbler quiets down)

Fry, Nibbler and Bender are out strolling the streets. Nibbler is on ground. Some boys walk pass.

Bender: (To Fry) Watch this. (To kids) Hey kids, I come from the future.

Boy 1: _Yeah, right_!

Bender: No _really,_ we are!

Boy 2: Oh yeah, what will happen?

Boy 3: Will school no longer exist?

Bender: No, there'll still be school.

Boy 3 (Disappointed) _Aw man_!

Boy 2: Will kids rule the world?

Boy 1: Will my little sister stop annoying me?

Boy 3: Will we learn how to shoot lasers from our eyes, go invisible and be able to fly?

Bender: No, maybe, no, no and no.

Boy 1: Then what? Will the predictions come true and the world will end as we know it?

Bender: Yes.

Boy 1: What year are you from?

Bender: The beginning of the year 3013.

Boy 2: If you're from the year 3013, a year that comes like way after 2012, then the world won't end!

Bender: Oh, it'll end all right. We were the lucky few who survived by going to a different planet before Earth blew up.

Boy 3: We don't believe you. Tell us what'll really happen.

Bender: Fine! There will be flying cars, movies and TVs in 7D, robots for every house doing your every chore, Ipads 3-19, Barack Obama being re-elected and so much more!

Boy #1: Let's just go guys. This robot is loony. (They go)

Bender: Okay, but when all of those things happen, just remember the robot who told you so, Bender Bending Rodriguez!

Fry: Bender, they're gone now.

Bender: Right! Let's go get some booze! (They go to liquor store)

Bender and Fry see 'Police Line, do not cross' tape everywhere around the store. Police officers were there, talking to the storeowner. The windows had a big gaping hole. Broken glass was on the cement. Police cars line the store.

Fry: Looks like a break-in.

Bender: I don't care about that; I just want my booze!

Fry: Come on; let's investigate! (Bender and Fry go to scene of the crime. They duck under tape)

Police Officer: Whoa, sorry fellas, only police and the victim of the crime can cross the yellow tape. I'm afraid you're have to step back. (Looks at Fry) Ouch son! Did you get a black eye?

Fry: I don't want to talk about it.

Officer: Well, you still can't pass.

Bender: They're no time for that! My booze is at stake here!

Fry: (Looks at manager) What happened?

Police Officer: Son, this is official police business.

Fry: (To officer) I'm an ex-police officer, does that count?

Police Officer: Sorry, unless you have like a badge, you and your robot friend got to stay out of this.

Fry: I got one right here. (Shows him Stan's CIA badge)

Bender: Excuse us for one moment! (To Fry) Fry, what are you doing?! Are you _crazy?_ You're not a CIA agent. I bet you don't even know what CIA stands for.

Fry_: Nope_, no clue! Relax, just play along.

Bender: Well, I don't know what CIA stands for either and I don't care! Aw, what the heck! Go and pretend you're somebody you're not!

Fry: (To Bender) Thanks! (To store owner) So, can you tell me what happened?

Store owner: (Cries) I've been robbed! All of the beer in my store got stolen!

Fry and Bender gasp.

Bender: _WHAT?!_

Bender: This isn't part of the story. This is just a question to all you readers out there. As we near Doomsday, aka the world's possible end on December 21st, I have to ask you one question. Will it end? Will you all know the ending to this story or will you never finish it...or finish it as ghosts? Only time will tell (Laughs evilly.)

Leela: _Bender_! (Bender stops laughing) Don't scare the readers. We live in the year 3012 almost 3013 for Pete's sake, well we did until we went though that portal. The point is, you readers have nothing to fear. The world is going to be fine. You see, the sun is...

Bender: Blah, blah, blah! Who cares how old the sun is! It's super old, (Lights cigar, puffs smoke) that's all they need to know, old.

Fry: So, Bender _wasn't_ faking? The world might end? (Screams, pees pants)

Leela: (Sighs)


	2. Part 2

Bender: Guess what readers? Not only did we all survive the Dec. 21st doomsday theory, but we also survived the New Year's Eve one too! So as promise, here's part two!

Part 2

Bender: _NOOOOOOOOOOO_! Say it isn't so!

Nibbler: (Sarcastically) _Oh no, _no booze, whatever will we do?

Bender: Shut up, Nibbler! You know I'll die without beer consumption.

Fry: So, all of the booze is gone?

Store Owner: Yep! (Cries) I'm afraid so!

Nibbler: Wait! (Lifts nose, sniffs) I smell something. The crook went this way, come on!

Bender: You better be right and not lead us to a fire hydrant to do your business.

Nibbler: (Looks at him) What do you think I am? A stupid dog?

Bender: Well, you got the stupid part right.

Nibbler glares at him and continues sniffing. Fry and Bender go after him

They reach a corner with a fire hydrant on it

Bender: I knew it!

Nibbler: No, _look!_

_They look and see a man in a trench coat. In his arms are bottles of booze, in his pockets as well_

Fry: _Thief!_

Bender: _Get him!_

_Man yells and runs. Fry, Bender and Nibbler chase him. Nibbler sinks his teeth into his coat_

Fry: Yeah; you _go_ Nibbler

_The man runs faster, his trench coat slips off. He runs to a nearby warehouse across the street, not looking at oncoming cars_

Nibbler: (Looking at the four bottles of booze in each pocket) Well, at least we got some of the beer bottles

Bender: That's not good enough! We need all of the booze for this robot to be completely satisfied

Nibbler: (Sighs) _Fine_!

Fry: Let's go to that beer stealing thief across the street!

_He was about to go when Nibbler stops him._

Nibbler: _Wait!_

_Fry stops and looks at him._

Nibbler: We can't go with oncoming cars. (Points to traffic light. It was red) See that red light? That means we have to let the cars pass.

Fry: _Aw,_ come on Nibbler! The thief is in there, we need to stop him!

Nibbler: (Shakes his head) No, unless you want to get hit by a car, we need to wait until it's safe. Safety first!

Fry: (Sighs) _Fine_! (Pushes button to cross) But this better not take long!

_They wait a couple minutes. The light was still red._

Bender: _That's it_, we're not waiting anymore; come on Fry, if Nibbler wants to wait to cross which might take forever, then _fine_; that's his problem But we are better then that!

_As they were about to cross, the light turned to green_. _A countdown showed that they have 20 seconds to cross. _

Nibbler: _Now,_ we can cross!

Fry_: Hmmm_, 20 seconds, will that give us enough time?

Bender: Come _on_ Fry, don't think about how long it'll take; just cross!

Fry: _Comin' Bender_! (They cross. About halfway, there was five seconds left)

Fry: _Oh no_, five seconds left! We're never going to make it! (Screams) The time's up and we're not all the way across yet!

Bender: _Can it_ Fry! Traffic has to stop for _all_ pedestrians to cross; it's the law!

Fry: Why do they have a countdown then?

Bender: Because they don't want pedestrians to say 'oh, 20 seconds; I can wait until it says 5 seconds' and then the cars and trucks will have to wait even longer because the stupid pedestrians didn't wait!

Fry: _Hmmm,_ I still don't understand.

_They are now all the way across._

Fry: (Cheers) _Whoo-Hoo_; we made it

Nibbler: (Pointing to warehouse) There's where all the beers are being held! We better…

Bender: On it! (He and Fry runs in. Tugs on Nibbler's leash) Come on Nibbler; get a move on!

Nibbler: (Sighs) get moving.

_Nibbler goes in. He, Fry and Bender go behind some boxes. _

_They hear some voices._

Voice: _WHAT?!_

_Nibbler, Fry and Bender see three men. One was sitting and one pinned the booze thief to the wall. Bender was about to run out and blow their cover when Nibbler stops him._

Nibbler: (Whispering) _Shhhhh;_ not yet!

_He and the robot look out at the three men again._

Fry: (Grabs grappling hook) I bet we can fit on the ceiling! (Fires grappling hook, misses. Hits Fry in head)

Fry: OW, that hurts! (Rubs head)

Nibbler: (Whispers) Shush, you better put that away before you give yourself another black eye.

Fry: Right. (Puts grappling hook back in pocket. Three look out again)

Man pinning thief: How could you let this _happen!?_

Thief: (Frightened) Please Tommy; they followed me! It was an accident!

Tommy: Well, that 'accident' followed you! They might be here, hiding behind boxes or somewhere!

Bender: (Jumps out from behind the boxes) You got that right, chumps! Give us the booze that you stole!

Fry: Yeah, _OOF_! (He tried to to jump over the boxes but his jump wasn't high enough and he tripped, causing multiple boxes to fall on him. Some of them open, revealing various beer bottles)

Bender: _Fry, careful_! Fragile bottles of booze are in those!

Fry: (dazed) Sorry! (Shakes off and stands up, looking determined.)

Tommy: _NEVER_! (Shouts to two men) Adam, Lewis; gather as much booze as you can!

Fry: (Gets out Stan's CIA badge and shows it to them) _STOP!_ I'm from the CIA!

Tommy: (Fakes) Oh, the CIA! I'm _sooooo_ scared!

Lewis: If you are from the CIA, what does it stands for?

Fry: Uh, it, uh…

Adam: (Laughs) He doesn't know and he _works_ there!

Fry: _No, _I know what it stands for! It stands for…_um_…it stands for… (Fakes smile) Carrots Incorporated Association? Oh wait, don't I have to be a carrot to join?

Adam: (Laughs) He doesn't know what it stand for, _oh_ _my gosh_; he doesn't know; I can't believe he doesn't know!

Lewis: Then I guess he _doesn't _works there!

Fry: No, no, I… (Gives up, takes out gun and points it at them) Give us the beer or I'll shoot!

Adam: (Snickers) Do you know _how?_

_Adam and Lewis couldn't hold it in anymore. They burst out laughing. They drop the boxes as they fall._

Tommy: (Angry) Get up you fools; you dropped the beer!

_Suddenly, they hear police sirens from outside. _

Tommy: _Adam, Lewis_! Get up now! _Quick_; the police are here!

_Adam and Lewis quickly stand and picks up boxes. _

Fry: How do the police know where we are?

Bender: (Shrugs) Beats me!

Fry then notices Nibbler wasn't with Bender; nor was his leash in his hand. Fry looks; Nibbler wasn't in sight)

Fry: (To Bender) Bender, where's Nibbler?

Bender: How should I know where he went? Maybe he ran away. If he did; good riddance! We don't need him anymore!

Fry: (panics) I can't believe it. Leela left me in charge of him and now he's gone!

Bender: (Takes out cigarette lights it) _Boo-hoo_; what are you going to do? (Puffs smoke)

Tommy: (After the boxes were picked up) Let's go.

_They were about to go when Fry and Bender stand in their way. Fry points gun at them. _

Fry: You're not going anywhere!

Bender: Yeah, just hand over the booze or you can (Shows behind) Bite my shiny metal butt!

Tommy: (Growls in throat and shoves Fry into some boxes.) _Move it!_

Suddenly, they hear Nibbler barking mad, running into view. He is followed by police officers. Nibbler growls, foaming at mouth.

Police officer (Pats Nibbler's head) Good boy! (To Tommy. Points gun at him) You're under arrest for stealing beer bottles from the liquor store!

Bender: (Has hands on Adam and Lewis) Don't forget these chumps!

_Police Officers grabs Adam and Lewis from Bender. Puts handcuffs on their wrists. As the gun distracted Tommy, another police officer from behind place handcuffs on Tommy's wrists. _

Officer arresting Tommy: You got the right to remain silent! Anything you say or do will affect you in court!

Tommy: (As he, Adam and Lewis are being dragged away) You might want to arrest him too, officer! (Points handcuffs to Fry) He's not really a CIA agent, he's faking it; _FAKING IT!_

Officer: Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge!

_Police Chief walks over to Fry. Bender is beside him._

Police Chief: I must thank you for all that you done. Good thing you were here.

Fry: Well, just trying to do my job.

_Nibbler perches on box. Police Chief smiles at Nibbler and strokes his chin._

Police Chief: And if this fellow didn't come and warn us the way he did, we wouldn't have known about this.

Bender: (Surprised) Nibbler is a hero?

Fry: Guess so! (Pats Nibbler)

Officer: Well, thanks again! We'll take these back to the Langley Falls Liquor store!

_Police officers starts picking up boxes._

Fry: Well, we did it Bender!

Bender: (Mumbling) You mean _Nibbler_! You heard what the police chief said!

Nibbler: _No, no, _we _all_ did it! I merely got the police here.

Fry: _WHOO-HOO_! We are all heroes!

Bender: _True that!_

Fry: Well, we better get out of here.

_He, Bender and Nibbler goes outside. As they approach the liquor store, the storeowner walks over to them._

Storeowner: Thank you so much for all that you've done! Because of you, I will be back in business tomorrow. Can I offer you two free beers?

Bender: _HECK_ YEAH! FREE BEER, _WHOO-HOO_! (Runs in store. Fry follows)

Storeowner: (To Bender) Just one please!

Bender: (Disappointed) _Aw, man_! (Opens chest and hides as many Beer in it as much as he could. Snickers mischievously) I'll just store these for later.

Fry: Nibbler, do you want any beer?

Nibbler: No thanks.

Bender: More for us!

Fry: (Sees what Bender was doing. Gasps) Bender, he said just take one beer!

Nibbler: (Sighs) That doesn't stop Bender.

Bender: That's right, Fry! What the storeowner doesn't know won't hurt him.

Fry: Okay. (Grabs Beer) Okay, I have my beer. Let's go and see if the professor found a way home yet.

Bender: (Closes chest full of beer) And if he doesn't, we can enjoy these beers! (Goes with Fry and Nibbler outside)

Storeowner: (Waves as they leave) Remember, you can visit my liquor store anytime!

Fry: (Shouts back) Okay we will!

Nibbler: Yeah, _centuries_ from now!

Fry: Nibbler; you don't know that! You don't know if it'll be still standing tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. You don't know what'll happen…do you?

_Nibbler was about to say something when the three boys from earlier pass by on their scooters. _

Boy 1: _Hey_, it's our freaky future friends! Let's say hello! (They circle Fry, Bender and Nibbler, surrounding them. They stop their scooters)

Bender: Not you guys again!

Boy 1: Hey, tell us more stuff that's going to happen in the future!

Boy 2: I bet it won't be all peachy keen!

Nibbler: You're right kid, it won't be all peachy keen.

The boys look at him, shocked that he was talking to them.

Boy 3: What are you? Do animals talk in the future?

Nibbler: No, I'm a Nibblonian from the planet Eternium. Hello, I'm Lord Nibbler, leader of the Nibblonians, but you may call me Nibbler.

Boy 1: Okay, so what were you saying about the future not being peachy keen?

Nibbler: Well, bad things happen every year, probably every day. Fires break out, weather disasters, disasters due to Mother Nature, robberies, people die; horrible and sad things that we just can't control when it's too late.

Boy 2: I see. (Sighs) So, my grandma has cancer. Is she going to die?

Nibbler: I don't know kid. But, either way, she should be in your prayers.

Boy 2: (Wipes upcoming tear) Okay.

Boy 3: Scooter race to the candy store; _1, 2_, _GO_! (Boys race off on scooters)

Boys 1, 2 and 3: (Wave from behind them) _BYE! _

Boy 1: _Bye, freaky travelers of the future!_

Bender: _Bye kids_, remember to play with matches (Snickers) Oh Bender, you are _BAD!_

Nibbler: Okay, come on! The professor is probably waiting for us with something that'll take us back to the 31st century.

Fry: _Right! _

_He, Nibbler and Fry go off. _

_When they arrive back at the house, everyone was there. _

Leela: (Picks up Nibbler) Hi Nibbler, did you miss mommy? (To Fry) Where were you? You were gone for over three hours.

Fry: Sorry, beers were stolen from the liquor store so we helped get them back.

Bender: (Open beer bottle) We got free beer! (drinks) _Aw, that's_ the stuff!

Leela: I can see that.

Hermes: I went to an interesting museum, all on the history on Virginia. I also went to the CIA's Air force base.

Bender: Wait, we're in _Virginia? _Well, that explains why there's not as many police officers here.

Zoidberg: And the doctors didn't believe me when I told them that we found a cure for cancer, so I had to show them on a patient.

Nibbler: Was it an elderly lady?

Zoldberg: No, it was on a child. (Cheers) I cured a child from cancer!

Nibbler: Oh.

Amy: (With shopping bags) And Leela and I went shopping!

Bender: (Sarcastically) We can see that, oh, and did you paint your nails at the beauty salon and other girly stuff that us boys don't give a crap about?

Amy: As a matter of fact, yes.

Bender: (Mutter) _Girls!_

Fry: Did the Professor find a way home yet?

Leela: Not yet.

Scruffy: (Offers letter to Fry) I have a letter for you.

Fry: A letter for me?

Leela: How can that be? We just came here early this morning.

Scruffy: (Shrugs) Beats me!

Bender: Is it from the storeowner? Is he going to give Fry the whole store? (To Fry) If you don't want it Fry, I can have it.

Fry: No, it's from the CIA!

Hermes: The _CIA_? What do they want?

Fry: (Reading letter) It says here that they are so impressed with what Bender, Nibbler and I did at the liquor store that they are offering me a job there.

_Bender spits out beer, everyone is shocked and looks at Fry._

Fry: You know what? I think I'll take that job, if they'll let me.

All: (Bender spits out beer again) _WHAT?!_

Leela: But Fry, you already _have_ a job! What about working with us, your friends, at the Planet Express?

Fry: Oh, yeah.

Bender: What about _me, _Fry? _I'm_ your best friend, who cares about these other jerks? Who will be my beer-drinking buddy?

Fry: Can I do both?

Leela: (Shakes head) You can't Fry. It's either stay here and be a CIA agent or go back to work with your 31st century friends.

Fry: Oh (Starts to think)

Professor Farnsworth: (Coming from other room) _Good news everyone_! I've invented the machine that can take us back home in our own time.

Hermes: That's _great_ professor!

Zapp: (He and Kiff comes back in) We're back! Unfortunately, we didn't find anything to get us back to 3013. (Notices all eyes were on Fry_) What_?

Kiff: Did we miss something?

Amy: Fry has to decide if he wants to stay here and become a CIA agent or go back with us.

Fry: Uh, I may not be allowed to considering that I'm not a carrot, but I'm going to try anyways.

Zapp: Oh. (To Leela) But, Leela is going back with us, right?

Leela: (Ignores Zapp) So Fry, what do you chose? A life here or a life back home with your friends? (All eyes were on him again)

Fry: _Please, please_, I can't think under all of this pressure! (Gets idea) I got it!

_Fry is writing letter to CIA agency._

Fry: (In letter) To CIA: I thank you for offering me a job at your agency, but I must decline your request. As much as I would like to lead a life as a butt-kicking agent, I already have a job as a delivery boy with my friends. I'm going back with them to the 31st century…that and I'm not a carrot. Yours truly, Philip J. Fry

_Everyone smiles at him when done and Leela hugs and kisses him making him blush. He goes to mailbox and puts the letter in. He goes back in house._

Fry: (Fishes out grappling hook and badge) Well, I better put these back.

_Fry goes upstairs. Minutes later, he comes back down. _

Fry: Okay; I'm ready! Oh, and I also played with the grappling hook since I will never play with one again. And guess what? I got the hang of it since I didn't get a black eye!

Prof. Farnsworth: Follow me.

The gang follows Farnsworth to machine that'll take them home.

Farnsworth: To home! (Puts hand on lever)

All: (Hands on Farnsworth's) To home! (Farnsworth pulls down lever and a white flash surrounds them)

They are back in Time Circle as ball gets ready to ring in the New Year.

New New Yorkers: 1_, HAPPY NEW YEAR_! (Confetti then is everywhere. New, New Yorkers cheers, blow noise makers, kiss love ones.)

Fry: (Notices screen under ball reads 3013. Cheers) _WHOO-HOO_! 3013, WE'RE BACK!

Bender: Beer, don't fail me now! (Drinks) _Aw_, my first beer of the new year.

Fry: There's no year that I wouldn't want to spend without my friends, (Gasps in realization) _hey_, I found my New Year's Resolution, spend more time with my friends!

All: _Awwwwwwww!_

Zapp: (To Leela, bows to her) Let's dance my Leela-poo!

_Sees Fry already dancing with her. She also kisses him, which makes Zapp mad._

Kiff: (Dancing with Amy) Cheer up, sir! It's the New Year; you don't want to start it out on a sour note, do you?

Zapp: (Sighs) No.

_Starts dancing with everyone else but Bender, who is enjoying his beer bottle, while female singer on mike sings Auld Lang Syne. Fireworks light up the night sky. _

Fry: (Gasps) _Wait,_ wasn't my dog going to die in 2012? And I didn't even see Michelle! (Cries) _Seymour, Michelle!_

Leela: (Pats back of Fry's head as he cries on her shoulder) There, there Fry. It's best to leave the past behind us and look ahead to the future.

Credits

Carrot with mustache: Do you want to be a hero? Do you love your country? Do you like kick-butt kicking action?

Carrot next to him: _YES, YES, YES_!

(Shows some scenes of carrots kicking evil celery, riding motorcycles out of exploding buildings, a carrot defusing a bomb and a carrot saving a baby broccoli from a well and giving him back to his mommy. Mom hugs child)

Carrot with mustache: Well, join the CIA…Carrots Incorporated Association! Don't be a coward, be a hero to your veggie nation! And rember kids, _don't_ eat your vegables, especially carrots, who knows? They may save your life one day! You must be a carrot in order to join.


End file.
